"Joe Mathlete's dad is my boss"

I come from a long line of piglet bathers.

"Cat Scratch Fervor"

Whatever floats your boat, I guess.

"Dennis Kucinich can too be president"

He was this close to just having his wife run in his place.

"Four girls jumping naked from a railing into the Caribbean Sea"

The Caribbean Sea just sits there all day, waiting for something like this to happen.

"Frank the Zombie enjoys the county fair and his new top hat"

If we'd just have more county fairs, America wouldn't have nearly as bad a zombie problem. Instead, I can't go outside at night without at least two friends and three shotguns. Thanks a lot, President Bush!

(I screwed up this one's title a bit when I was writing it on the card... The actual requested phrase is above. "Oops!")

"The most beautiful girl in the world comes face-to-face with her own mortality"

Sobering, huh?

"Picasso's Guernica, featuring Marmaduke"

Take THAT, Picasso's Guernica!

(Hey, look at that... Two cards in a row featuring Marmaduke, and two cards in a row that I had to do research for)

"Marmaduke eating those damn 'Love Is' kids"

I had never actually seen the 'Love Is' comic strip before I got this request. It's absolutely horrifying.