"Nick and Elly sit at a Jandek concert, pondering his genius"

True story: my friend Jimmy was introduced to Jandek at a bar a couple of years ago, not too terribly long after he revealed himself to be a flesh and blood human and began playing live (mostly at festivals in Scotland for some reason). According to Jimmy, Jandek was soft-spoken and very polite, and at one point mentioned that he "didn't get out much."

Sometimes it is very cool to live in Houston.

"Where's Waldo? In 'Hell" by Hieronymous Bosch"

If I had more than 3"x5" to work with (and, y'know, was a better artist), this would be the funniest thing I've ever drawn. Promise.

Art History majors, close your eyes and imagine what this should look like. Everybody else, Google Hieronymous Bosch.

"Joe Mathlete Takes a Year to Draw An Index Card"

"Whoops!"

So this wasn't requested by anyone, but I did, indeed, take damn near a year to draw several of the index cards people ordered. This was due more to what I mentioned in the previous post than to Dark Shadows marathons, but thanks to some helpful correspondence I'm pretty much back on the horse (ATTN: Gloria B-- email me that Paypal receipt!).

Check back in over the next couple days as I continue to play catchup. After that... surprising surprises? For serious!

And... I think that's it

To the best of my knowledge, I'm pretty sure I've caught up with all pending index card orders. The mountain of disorganization that is my inbox, combined with the fact that I've moved seven (seven!) times since 2006, could prove otherwise, but as far as I can tell I am square.

As of last week I'd stuck all the unshipped cards in the mailbox and sent them on their merry way. If you have been (so very patiently) waiting for an index card for awhile and it hasn't arrived by Monday, email me (themathletes AAATTT yahoo DDDOOOTTT com) and let's figure out what happened.

Future plans: Hmm...

"Joe Mathlete being my boyfriend"

Yikes!

"A polar bear beating Bill's ass while Payne eats a popsicle"

Man, Payne's a jerk.

"Patrick Swayze Riding a Unicorn with Sam Elliot (Moustached Sam Elliot)"

The following are among the things I cannot draw:

1. Celebrities
2. Unicorns (or any kind of horse-like being)

The following are among the things I kick ass at drawing:

1. Magical rainbows

"a Oaxacan cockfight"

Use your imagination. I have no idea what's going on in that censor'd bubble, but I do know it's horrifying.

"George the bad cat being very bad"

George's mischievousness aside, it's pretty irresponsible to keep all your eggs (Homeland Security files and AIDS cures) in one basket/gigantic open cardboard box.

Good news, art patrons!

This blog is totally not dead anymore. It's still probably near-dead, compared to a lot of things on the internet, but it's a start.

I will begin slowly uploading the final batch of cards in my "to do queue," some of which have been kicking around since last Autumn. Beyond that, after an unbelievably terrifying period where I thought I had lost everything, I have recovered all of the cards I have yet to ship out (in a little box in my friend's storage closet. Here's a tip for those of you who move a lot, or ever: get your shit together better than me).

I thank you all tremendously for your patience (yet again), even those of you who asked for refunds during my long months in the wilderness of not updating. Frankly it's kind of ridiculous it takes me so long to do this stuff, but hey: good artist, shitty capitalist, huh?

Beats,

Joe Mathlete