This blog is going on a very short vacation

For just like a day or two, on account of my scanner being fucked up. I will figure out a solution very soon in the form of fixing, purchasing, borrowing, stealing, or some combination thereof.

In unrelated news (other than, y'know, it has to do with me drawing index cards), I will resume taking orders on Monday, June 11, the Yeare of our Lorde 2007; mark your calendars and start thinking of what you would like to have immortalized on a 3x5 inch piece of cardstock.

"Me and you with kangaroos, partying like it's 1999"

God, that looks like an awesome party. Other than the 1999 music.

"A hippo, wearing kelly green Chucks and a paper hat, playing the violin"

I wonder if he's playing "Slow Ride."

Just kidding. Of COURSE he's playing "Slow Ride."

"'Go Texan' day as celebrated by a New York law firm"

Being from Texas myself, I am incredibly upset at all of this, especially how wrong they got our flag.

Incidentally, I've noticed everyone from Texas (myself included) is intensely proud of being from Texas, even if they hate actually living in Texas. It's awesome and bizarre.

"The meaning of life"

You asked for it.

"a dog that thinks he is a person and also dresses like a dockworker from the 1930s"

Where did he get that outfit?

"Me not getting laid again"

This one was sort of ambiguous. In response to the "What would you like Joe Mathlete to draw for you on an index card?" he put "Me not getting laid again." I wasn't 100% sure who the "me" referred to... Me-me, or him-me? It was a tough call, but I eventually went with depicting someone else.... If I had drawn me-me not getting laid again, the picture would have been a duckling at a desk coloring furiously, a wastebasket overflowing with crumpled index cards next to his feet, with a thought bubble saying "I'm so clever!"

But I drew this instead.

"Wimpie the Bulldog"

I like Wimpie. Don't you like Wimpie? I like Wimpie. How could anyone not like Wimpie? Look at him. He is great. Just look at him.

I like Wimpie.

"The folly of life."

Of course, if pigs actually could talk then bacon lovers would probably see their side of things a lot more easily, but you get my drift.

"What the f@#k did that penguin eat for lunch?"

I'm not telling, but I'm reasonably sure it wasn't just krill.

"Sarah and Ameera: awesome long distance friendship"

Doesn't get much more awesome than knock knock jokes.

"a little girl smoking a cigarette"

She looks rather grim... You think a little girl smoking a cigarette would be having a lot more fun with it.

Stuff from that art show I was in, part one

So I got to be a part of this thing where a bunch of folks made art on 6" x 8" pieces of cardboard. It was fun. I did pretty much my standard Sharpies and Crayolas routine, but got to think everything up myself, so in that sense I guess it counts as a stretch. Also the drawings were, y'know, bigger. And on a brown background, not a white one. Artistic growth is rad.

I'll return with the regular stuff soon, but I figured I'd put these up 'cuz why not. I'm almost ready to start taking requests/orders again (next week I should be all caught up); thanks for your patience, those of you who are still waiting for your Jabba the Hut pooping out Willard Scott's grandma or whatever.

"BEAR VS. DUCK"


"KNOW YOUR PORK"


"SO IT GOES" (drew this the day I found out Kurt Vonnegut died. He was good at books)


"NOTHING PERSONAL, JUST BUSINESS" (almost went with "FUCK THA POLICE")

"Bruce Campbell (who is awesome) dominating Steven Seagal (who is scared)"

A stubbly buttchin embarassing a ponytail. I'm not one to toot my own horn or anything, but this picture proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am the single greatest artist of this or any other generation.

"Two jackasses redecorate their kitchen"

The beer poster was already there; the addition of the naked lady poster is what makes it REdecorating.

"too many helicopters"

How sad is it to think that, in a decade or so, Dakota Fanning is probably going to be one of those coked-up Lohanesque vag-flashers embarassing herself all over perezhilton.com? I hope that's not the case, but the odds are against her.

Also, this was one of my favorite requests yet. Just wanted to say that.

"Hepcats on the prowl"

That one cat's so hep he doesn't even know what words mean.

"Alex Trebek tells Jeffy from the Family Circus that he's his true father"

Alex was kind enough to grow back his moustache just for this picture.

"Erin really likes whiskey"

I would go as far as to say she loves it.